these are the timesdirty beloved


I have a PayPal account now. I'm trying to think of it as a tip jar. This is compromised by the presence of many others who do what I do at least as well without tip jars.
But an actual jar of actual money is at present my only tangible source of revenue. The threads of circumstance that have led to this are many, though the two events that most signify are my mom's passing in August and my breaking my ankle in early September. During these last three years I went from being a returned son/roommate as she first began to decline, to a housekeeper/companion when she could no longer walk out unassisted or cook for us, to full-time caregiver. It wasn't hard until the very last, when it was very hard. The time immediately after should have been when I squared up with the demands of continuing my own life, but that was interrupted before it began.
The ankle needed surgery, the recovery's been slow and slower, I've started getting food assistance from the county gov't, but there's been no money coming in for four months now. This jar (photo) is my current balance, aside from any tips that show up in the PayPal account - (thank you, initial contributor!)
I've stood on hungry street corners more than once or twice with a guitar and a troubador's shirt; the hardest part for me was always the beginning - opening the case, throwing some pesos and guilders and francs and quarters down to start the flow, and announcing the intent to perform, making some noise. This is different but no less awkward to begin.
The internet connection's probably going down tonight, and it'll be at least a week until I can get that turned around. Though the unexpected does occur.
All and any contributions will be most gratefully accepted.


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